I just got done talking to Brendan online. It was one of our usual dorky conversations about a little of everything and just reminiscing about our life together. Then across my screen "FFF******CCCKKKKK!!! They are shooting again." No, not them shooting at our guys, just our guys shooting the "big guns" at night. This makes Brendan very uneasy. You can tell he gets skiddish. Maybe 20 plus years in the Army will do that.
I took the opportunity to talk to him about getting him the proper counseling when he returns. He's all for it. He recognizes that he's been through enough that getting a professional involved would not only behoove him but this family as well. I also have been laying the ground work to have me involved with as much counseling and therapy as I can be. I told him today "I am your life battle buddy." Plus I have the ability to at the very least understand the facts of a given situation and be the buffer between Brendan and the kids when they don't understand why daddy doesn't like loud noises or being snuck up on.
That's the thing as an "army wife," we see things that our soldiers don't always notice. Sleeping patterns are awkward, reactions to situations aren't the same, ability to focus is off and many other things just aren't the same. Its the trivial things. Granted there are always some changes that take place when a soldier returns home and most of the time life does return to normal. However it doesn't negate that period of time when things are "adjusting" and if that period of time comes and goes and things aren't improving - well there are resources.
The spouse of a soldier is the first line of defense that is under utilized in our homefront combat to a healthy, happy soldier and army family post deployment. I do think the US Army is starting to understand that and is working on incorporating a marital team effort to ensure the health and welfare of our soldiers.
I count my lucky stars that Brendan wants me to be a part of his "reintegration" home. I will never understand what he has seen, dealt with or has had to do in his army career. I do know that I want to provide him some mental security in the fact that I'm here too, I care about him and making this family work and work well.
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You know, I was thinking about this just the other day. I don't think they do a real good job training families about reintegration. I know with John, they do a lot of training while they are deployed about what is going to happen when they come home. But they don't really do anything with the wives and children. Its basically, hey, its your husbands time to go, and then hey, its time for your husband to come home with almost nothing in the middle (except for FRG meetings which are wonderful times to speak to other wives going through the same exact thing). Anyway, I wish the navy was making the same strides about this that the Army was. I know they do marriage encounter weekends, but nothing involving deployment reintegration per se. maybe the branches of the military should get together and talk about this stuff. lol. Just my two cents.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back Rebecca!
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